


Sombra Hacks Two Hearts And One Arm

by Nightelfbane



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angela is not happy with Sombra, Comedy, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hacking, I will ship McSombra until I die, Irresponsible use of neural implants, McCree is an unwilling accomplice, Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff, Romantic date, Sunset date, Watchpoint: Gibraltar, Yuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 22:14:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11953743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightelfbane/pseuds/Nightelfbane
Summary: Sombra plays matchmaker and a reluctant McCree is dragged along with her.





	Sombra Hacks Two Hearts And One Arm

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lunari](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunari/gifts).



> -Based on a prompt from the wonderful Lunari  
> -I swear this was supposed to be mostly Pharmercy but I accidently McSombra.  
> -Have you noticed how we call people "shippers" and not "sailors"?  
> -Comments and grammatical / spelling corrections are always welcome!

            It had been over a year since Sombra had defected from Talon, and just under eight months since she had started stepping out with Jesse McCree. The cowboy was snoring gently behind her, turned away as she sat on the side of the bed. She flipped through her purple holographic screens, grumbling under her breath at what she saw.

            She flipped through another page and sighed heavily. Moments later, she tensed as she felt two arms wrap around her waist, and then relaxed as she realized who it was. She leaned back into the embrace.

            “Hey.”

            “Hey yourself, sweetheart.” His breath tickled her ear as he gazed over her shoulder at her screens. “Darlin’…why are you lookin’ at pictures of the good doctor? And Fareeha?”

            Sombra grumbled again. “Those two have been dancing around each other ever since the Recall! Every time they’re in the same room they start blushing like schoolgirls. It makes me nauseous.”

            Jesse knew what she was talking about and chuckled. “It’s been going on a bit longer than that, darlin’. I swear Fareeha’s eyes went heart-shaped when they first laid eyes on Angela, around…say, 20 years ago. During the old days of Overwatch.”

            “Well, it stops here and now.” Sombra unwrapped his arms, waved away her screens, and stood up. She walked over to her workstation, covered in computers with glowing purple circuitry crawling over them.

            She was wearing one of McCree’s shirts, which didn’t completely cover the top half of her thighs. He started, openmouthed, as she walked across the room before he snapped himself out of it and shook his head, feeling a ball of dread settle into the pit of his stomach as he processed what she had said. “Sombra?”

            She extended her hand and multiple purple lines extended out from her fingers, forging a connection between her implants and the computers. She called up her screens again as she sat down and McCree could see data flash across the holograms faster than he could see as her augmented brain did…whatever hacking involved.

            “Sombra, what are you doing?”

            “I’m hacking into Fareeha and Angela’s phones.” She said distractedly.

            McCree’s eyes widened. “You’re _what_?”

            “I’m going to send them texts and make it look like they’re from each other. I’m going to get those two on a date if it kills me.”

            He opened his mouth, and then shut it again. A smile spread over his face.

            “Sombra…”

            Something in his voice made her turn away from her screens and look at him suspiciously.

            “Are you…a shipper?”

            She scoffed, but he could see a tinge of red in her cheeks. “Where did you even _learn_ that word, cowboy?”

            “I was part of the old Overwatch, honeybee. I might not have been on any posters but I was very close to the people who were. Do you have any idea how many people were rootin’ for Captain Amari and Lieutenant Wilhelm to get together?”

            Sombra gaped. “The - the old people?!”

            McCree laughed. “I wouldn’t call them that to their faces, darlin’. Ana’s got a temper.” He waved away her response. “You didn’t answer my question. Are you a shipper?”

            “Of course not! I…just want them to stop mooning over each other all day.” Jesse could see that the red in her cheeks was getting brighter.

            He laughed again. “You _are_ a shipper! Do you read fanfiction?” His question was met with a glare from violet eyes.

            His grin grew wider and more mischievous. “Sombra…do you _write_ fanfi-oof!” Luminescent purple circuitry enveloped his metal arm as he punched himself in the face.

***

            The next morning found Fareeha “Pharah” Amari was in the hangar bay, elbow deep in her Raptora suit. Grease streaked her arms and hands as she stood up and took a drink of water. Her armor lay on its back in front of her, the chest plate pulled off to expose its inner workings.

            Her phone vibrated in her jeans pocket and she wiped her hands on a rag before fishing it out and looking at the screen. Her heart sped up as she saw Angela’s face in the holographic screen of her phone. She opened the text.

            _Hey Fareeha!! Do you have any plans tonight? Would you like to meet me for dinner later? Just the two of us under the satellite outside Winston’s lab at 9? I have a bottle of 2021 Navarra I haven’t opened yet! ;)_

            Fareeha’s heart raced. Angela was asking her out on a date? Just the two of them? With wine? She frantically typed a reply, not remembering that Angela never woke up before noon.

***

            Sombra glared at her screens as her foot tapped impatiently. “Dios, how long does it take to reply to a simple text?”

            McCree was at his own desk, stitching a tear in his serape. “Give her some time. She’s probably still jumping for joy.”

            A new message appeared on Sombra’s screen from one Fareeha Amari. “Ha! She said yes!”

            McCree left his serape on his desk and looked at her screens.

            _I’d love to! I’m looking forward to it!_

“Sheesh. She’s like a horse straining at the bit,” McCree said.

            “I told you it would work.”

            “You still have to get the good doctor on board.”

            “Please. Remember who you’re talking to.”

***

            Six hours later, around 1:20 p.m., Angela “Mercy” Ziegler groaned and sat up in bed. She had been up until 4 a.m. testing a new iteration of her nanites, and was desperately in need of coffee. She dressed herself while still half asleep and started lurching her way towards Watchpoint Gibraltar’s cafeteria.

            It wasn’t until her second cup of coffee that she remembered to check her phone for messages. She smiled into her mug when she realized that she had one message from Fareeha. She opened it, and nearly choked on her coffee when she read what was in it.

            _Hello, angel! Do you have any plans for tonight? How about dinner under the satellite outside Winston’s lab at 9, just you and me? I’ve got an unopened 2021 Navarra!_

The doctor’s face broke into a huge smile as she realized what Fareeha was asking. She set her coffee down on the kitchen counter and began typing her reply with both hands.

***

            Sombra laughed as she read the message on her screens. “I’m two for two, cowboy.”

            Said cowboy had repaired his Serape and had since gone out for food, just missing Angela in the cafeteria. He set a tray of food in front of Sombra before moving to his own desk.

            “Congratulations, darlin’. Just one question: Where are you going to get a bottle of 2021 Navarra on such short notice?”

            Sombra reached into one of her desk drawers and pulled out a large bottle of wine, holding it out to him with a triumphant smile.

            McCree’s eyes bulged. “Where the hell did you get that?”

            “It was payment for a job a few years ago.”

            He eyed her. “Since when did you accept payment in wine?”

            Sombra rolled her eyes. “Okay, so I stole it after the client had given me the real payment. Are you going to help me or not?”

           "Help you with what?”

            She threw up her arms. “Haven’t you been listening?! The date is in less than eight hours! We have to get everything set up! We need a table, tablecloth, candles, wineglasses, food, chairs!” She stared past him as she imagined it. “A candle-lit dinner at sunset…this is going to be perfect!”

            “I thought all this romantic stuff between them made you nauseous.”

            “Shut up, cowboy.”

           McCree sighed. He hadn’t wanted to get involved in the first place. Hacking their phones was bad enough, but he supposed he was already part of her conspiracy. “Ana used to hide wine and glasses on top of the cupboards in the kitchen. If I know her, she’s already got a new set.” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I, uhh…” He reached into the drawer of his own desk and pulled out two candles.

          “Aww, cariño, were you planning something?”

          “Nothing as fancy as what you’re doing…but yeah, I was hoping to have something nice for us.”

          Sombra wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him deeply. “After this, okay? I’d love to have a candle-lit dinner with you.”

         McCree smiled at her, hands on her hips. It’s a date, darlin’.”

***

          Moving the necessary table and chairs from the cafeteria without attracting attention wasn’t easy. Eventually Sombra used her translocator to sneak everything past everyone else while McCree stole Ana’s wineglasses. Afterwards they headed into town and went shopping for ingredients.

          After they got back to the Watchpoint, McCree followed Sombra into the kitchen, carrying two bags of groceries. “Sombra, do you even know how to cook?”

          “Of course I do! I lived on my own for years. When I was little, before I was Sombra, I used to give home-baked bread to the police as a distraction while I connected with their computers.”

          “That’s devious.”

          “And profitable. Fill this halfway up with hot water.” She shoved a pot into his hands as he set the bags down onto the counter.

          Together they bustled around the kitchen, throwing together as romantic a dinner as they could make in the few hours they had left. Sombra put the last of the dishes into the sink as McCree gathered place settings. She went to the door and peeked out.

          “Nobody’s there. Let’s grab the plates and go.”

          They snuck out to the designated spot, on the cliffs behind a building a short way outside of Winston’s laboratory. They managed to avoid any of their comrades on their way. They began setting the table in the fading light, lighting the candles as Sombra anxiously checked the time.

          “We don’t have much longer. Hurry up!”

          “Calm down, Sombra. I’m almost finished.” He set down the last of the silverware and nodded to her. “Let’s scram.”

          They ran into the building just as Angela rounded the corner, dressed in a slim white dress.

***

            Angela gasped as she saw the setup in front of her. A green tablecloth topped one of the tables from the cafeteria, and two candles flickered lazily atop it. Between the two candles was a bottle of wine, the 2021 Navarra. Plates of delicious looking food sat on each side of the circular table.

            “She really went to a lot of trouble…” she murmured. Then she realized what was missing: Fareeha herself. Angela shrugged. She must have forgotten something. She sat down at the table to wait, already salivating at the wonderful smells from the fresh food.

***

            Fareeha was running late.

            After she had stopped grinning ear to ear after seeing Angela’s text, she had gone about her usual business, humming happily the whole while. When the time of the date neared, she realized she had nothing to wear to the date. She had run back to her quarters and frantically tore through her closet looking for something appropriate. She was on the verge of despair when she found her old Helix Securities dress uniform. The uniform was black with gold trim, like the HSI logo. She hadn’t worn it in years. She pulled it out of the closet and got dressed in a hurry, pulling on the jacket while she went out the door.

            It was almost 9:10 by the time she made it to the date. She approached the place Angela had specified, passing by the Overwatch flagpole and rounding the corner of the building. She stopped in her tracks to take in the sight before her.

            Angela truly looked like her namesake. In the light of the setting sun, the candlelight flickered off of her dress and the golden hair framing her face. Fareeha remembered herself and walked towards the table, smiling as she greeted her date.

            “Hi, Angela! My God, you look wonderful!”

            Angela stood to greet her, clasping her hand warmly. “You look very handsome yourself, Fareeha.” They sat down, and an awkward silence reigned before Fareeha cleared her throat.

            “I have to say, I’ve been looking forward to this for a long time.”

            The doctor smiled at her (harder, anyway. Neither of them had completely stopped smiling since they saw each other). “So have I.”

            Fareeha struggled to think of a way to carry the conversation forward when she hit upon the perfect idea.

            “So I understand you’ve been making modifications to your flight suit?”

            Angela’s whole face lit up. “Oh Fareeha, you have no idea! I’ve been changing the Valkyrie’s wings, and I think I’ve found a way to boost my Caduceus staff while letting me fly at the same time!” The unfettered passion in her voice made Fareeha’s heart flutter.           

            “That’s incredible! How did you change the wings?”

            Angela went into a more detailed explanation of her work as Fareeha ate and watched her adoringly.

***

            Sombra and McCree stood atop the building the two lovebirds were dining behind, watching and listening to the two talk.

            “It’s working perfectly!” Sombra crowed quietly.

            “Mmhm. Come on, let’s go.” McCree turned to leave but Sombra grabbed his arm and pulled him back.

            “Where are you going? It’s only just started!”

            “Sombra, we’ve done all we can!”

            “I’m not going to miss this!”

            “Darlin’, you’ve already hacked their phones. What will Winston do when he finds out? You’re still not trusted by many of the people here. Do you really want to get caught spying on somebody’s date?”

            Sombra crossed her arms. “I’m not leaving.”

            McCree sighed. He took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair, something Sombra noticed he did when he was anxious. She turned back to the two down below to continue her surveillance.

            “You _are_ a shipper,” he muttered.

            “Quiet. I can’t hear.”

***

            About an hour later, they finished their food.

            Fareeha stood up and offered her hand to Angela. “M-may I walk you back to your quarters?” She cursed herself for stuttering.

            Angela, more than a little tipsy, giggled and took her hand. “Of course, schatz.” She stood up and took Fareeha’s arm. They got a few steps away from the table before Angela blurted out, “Oh! Don’t forget this!” She grabbed the bottle of wine from the table and gave it to Fareeha, grinning. Her face was flushed from the wine.

            Fareeha held the wine in her right hand, the one Angela wasn’t holding. They continued walking back to their quarters, towards the road that they used to deliver the satellite drone on one of their first missions as part of the reformed Overwatch. They walked in companionable silence towards the building where the agents’ quarters, common room, and cafeteria were. Unbeknownst to them, a certain hacker and cowboy tailed them as closely as they could.

            The lovebirds entered the barracks arm in arm while Sombra and McCree took an alternate entrance. The hacker and cowboy listened from around a nearby corner as Fareeha and Angela stopped in front of the latter’s quarters. Angela stood in front of Fareeha, biting her lip as she stared at Fareeha’s. Her face seemed so close, and she probably had too much to drink, and Fareeha was so beautiful and so strong and before she knew it, Angela had placed her hand on the side of Fareeha’s face and was kissing her.

            Fareeha stiffened, then melted into the kiss as the hand that wasn’t holding the wine found its place on Angela’s hip.

***

            Scant minutes earlier, McCree grabbed Sombra’s arm and yanked her back around the corner as she tried to step out into the corridor.

            “What are you doing?” He hissed at her.

            “I want to get a close-up! Relax cowboy, I have my cloak!”

            She jerked her arm free and activated the cloak, vanishing into the corridor towards the couple just as they started kissing. “Sombra!” McCree hissed.

            Sombra ignored him, getting within arm’s reach of the kissing couple. She stared dreamily as her favorite ship came true before her eyes.

***

            Angela pulled away from Fareeha, her heart pounding as she met her eyes. Both women were smiling.

            “Consider that a thank you for a lovely evening,” Angela said, rubbing her thumb gently over Fareeha’s tattoo.

            “Thank me?” Fareeha chuckled. “You did all of the work.”

            Angela tilted her head in question. “What do you mean?”

            “You know…the candles, the table, the delicious food…The wine! Where on Earth did you get a bottle of 2021 Navarra?”

            The doctor frowned. “What are you talking about? I didn’t cook any food, and that’s your wine!”

            “Angela, you said you had a bottle of 2021 Navarra when you asked me out.”

            “I didn’t ask you out! You asked me out. I have the text.”

            The two very confused women got out their phones just as Sombra appeared before them.

            Sombra had been so enraptured by the kiss, she had forgotten to monitor the time remaining on her cloak. She materialized in front of the doctor and the soldier as comprehension dawned on their faces. She laughed nervously, eyes wide.

            “Uhhh…Hola, amigas!”

            “ _Sombra!!!”_

Sombra ran.

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE CHECK OUT MY OTHER WORKS! THEY'RE GETTING LONELY!


End file.
